big2bird
Charter Member, Founder Bird-Run, Cruise-In Bird-R
Just sent to me by a friend. Don't know if it's true, but funny nonetheless.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry
jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the
knife on me and my girlfriend threatening our lifes. You also asked for
my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come
across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment, I didn't expect you
to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my
jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for
a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP
pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it
that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating
weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it! I know it probably wasn't
fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in
your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare footed since I made
you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented
you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your
cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and
filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your
credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was
extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie
Van Go Go's , along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I
then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked
at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the
entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma
Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little
over a day now, so what's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get
in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while
mentioning Preside nt Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed
really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your
number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you
... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment
for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through
some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you
have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path
you've chosen to pursue in life.
Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
P.S. Remember this motto.. . An armed society makes for a more civil society !
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry
jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the
knife on me and my girlfriend threatening our lifes. You also asked for
my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come
across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment, I didn't expect you
to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my
jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for
a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP
pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it
that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating
weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it! I know it probably wasn't
fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in
your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare footed since I made
you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented
you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your
cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and
filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your
credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was
extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie
Van Go Go's , along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I
then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked
at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the
entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma
Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little
over a day now, so what's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get
in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while
mentioning Preside nt Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed
really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your
number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you
... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment
for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through
some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you
have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path
you've chosen to pursue in life.
Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
P.S. Remember this motto.. . An armed society makes for a more civil society !
