clutchdust
Millionaire Playboy
i love these 'fail' theads. i am constantly astonished at some of the stupidity some people are capable of.
i can relate a similar story from my youth, but unfortunately, there was no such thing as an internet at the time so we could bask in the epic-ness of this fail.
now when i was younger, a friend of mine who i shall call 'bob' for the purpose of this thread had a '76 firebird with a 305. as with most 17 year-olds, he had more plans than money or ability. he saved and scrimped for a couple months and managed to pile enough money to buy some roller tip rockers and get a "valve job" done on his heads. he also decided to install a used "performance" cam that was in good shape. i agreed to help since at the time i was only slightly less of a mechanical moron, at least i followed the instructions, mostly.
so we pull the carb, dizzy,intake and heads. he gets his "valve job" on the used heads and one saturday we get started putting everything back together. by the end of the day, we have the heads bolted back on with the new pushrods and rocker arms. of course we've also installed the new cam but haven't yet installed the chain. by now it's fairly late and i need to go for the evening. so i tell 'bob' just to hold off for the rest of the day, i'll be over around mid morning.
the next morning i roll up about 10-10:30 and he's installing the water pump.
oh shit.
"bob, did you set the cam up right?"
"ya"
"o.k."
we put the valve covers on.
"bob, did you set the cam up right?"
"ya"
"o.k."
intake has already been installed at this point so we drop in the distributor.
"bob, did you set the cam up right?"
"i aldready told you yes, will you leave me alone?"
"o.k."
hook up the fuel lines and spark plug wires
"bob, you're sure you set the cam up right?"
"yes! goddamnit, stop asking me that!"
"o.k."
install the pulleys and tighten the belts, reconnect the battery. we're ready to start.
"bob, don't get mad, but you're sure you installed the cam correctly?"
he just gives me dagger eyes at this point.
"o.k. let 'er rip".
he hits the ignition and here's what we hear:
rarrarrarrAARRARR!
clang! clang! clang! clang! clack!
he stops.
<me> oh shit.
i just sit down at this point. no sense asking again.
2 hours later he has all the friends we know over and they're theorizing that maybe we dropped the distributor 180* out, or maybe we have #5 and #7 backwards, maybe there's no fuel pump pushrod and we're just not getting any fuel, etc.
so at this point 'bob' has this tortured look on his face and i ask him, real quite like, "are you sure you installed the cam correctly?"
"WELL, IF I DIDN'T, IT'S ONLY A TOOTH OR TWO OFF!!!!"
dead silence.
16 out of 16 valves bent. :gurney:
i can relate a similar story from my youth, but unfortunately, there was no such thing as an internet at the time so we could bask in the epic-ness of this fail.
now when i was younger, a friend of mine who i shall call 'bob' for the purpose of this thread had a '76 firebird with a 305. as with most 17 year-olds, he had more plans than money or ability. he saved and scrimped for a couple months and managed to pile enough money to buy some roller tip rockers and get a "valve job" done on his heads. he also decided to install a used "performance" cam that was in good shape. i agreed to help since at the time i was only slightly less of a mechanical moron, at least i followed the instructions, mostly.
so we pull the carb, dizzy,intake and heads. he gets his "valve job" on the used heads and one saturday we get started putting everything back together. by the end of the day, we have the heads bolted back on with the new pushrods and rocker arms. of course we've also installed the new cam but haven't yet installed the chain. by now it's fairly late and i need to go for the evening. so i tell 'bob' just to hold off for the rest of the day, i'll be over around mid morning.
the next morning i roll up about 10-10:30 and he's installing the water pump.
oh shit.
"bob, did you set the cam up right?"
"ya"
"o.k."
we put the valve covers on.
"bob, did you set the cam up right?"
"ya"
"o.k."
intake has already been installed at this point so we drop in the distributor.
"bob, did you set the cam up right?"
"i aldready told you yes, will you leave me alone?"
"o.k."
hook up the fuel lines and spark plug wires
"bob, you're sure you set the cam up right?"
"yes! goddamnit, stop asking me that!"
"o.k."
install the pulleys and tighten the belts, reconnect the battery. we're ready to start.
"bob, don't get mad, but you're sure you installed the cam correctly?"
he just gives me dagger eyes at this point.
"o.k. let 'er rip".
he hits the ignition and here's what we hear:
rarrarrarrAARRARR!
clang! clang! clang! clang! clack!
he stops.
<me> oh shit.
i just sit down at this point. no sense asking again.
2 hours later he has all the friends we know over and they're theorizing that maybe we dropped the distributor 180* out, or maybe we have #5 and #7 backwards, maybe there's no fuel pump pushrod and we're just not getting any fuel, etc.
so at this point 'bob' has this tortured look on his face and i ask him, real quite like, "are you sure you installed the cam correctly?"
"WELL, IF I DIDN'T, IT'S ONLY A TOOTH OR TWO OFF!!!!"
dead silence.
16 out of 16 valves bent. :gurney:
