Life sucks

[mrvette]

22 years ago the ex took the kids and left the house....moved into a rental across the street, paying 2 grand/month RENT, plus utilities....

so in 18 months she blew 36+ grand outta the household budget.....

36 fucking GRAND, serious as heart attack and that don't EVEN include the doubling of utility bills...phone, electric, gas....

but then again, the kids turned out ok, except they are both liberal communists....and going to find out soon enough that it dont work.....

I give it another 5 years, but at least Tom is a hotrodder/trail rider/mechanic now, lovely waste of a college degree....in basket weaving.....

but then again their mom makes some 100K+/year as a retirement income under the olde tyme SS system in effect at time she was hired.....

so maybe the bitch was right, she really DIDN'T need me....

but I much happier now that I EVER was with her....

as far as a decent livable person to grin and spend time on projects with....Linda beats her ass 20-1 easy......

how many chicks you know would go into a hot Florida summer high humidity camper and help rebuild the inside??? how many chicks would help with and endure the endless CLEANING UP from house remodeling projects....as in fetch tools, help lift shit, think of what I need to get job done, perfect helper she is.....we been through on this house, since married....she helped a bit on the 300' room addition when we were dating....

so since we married.....a glass atrium, some 200' worth, windows, doors, painting, roofing, total kitchen including moving THE bearing utility wall for the entire house...total remodel in the kitchen, as in chisel the floor, move the plumbing, redo the electric panel, run all new lines for damn near everything, new HVAC, redo the irrigation system, added 100' on to the kitchen in the remodel, she paid for the cabinet doors.... GRAND off the 'net.....she helped lay all the ceramic tile...about 600' worth in various rooms....helped but in two skylights....replace the front door, built a front deck and got her son to help skreeding the back pour for the atrium and BBQ Deck.....built front deck....then there is the hall bath....helped shread the entire install, knock out walls, lay tile, install new 72x42" whirlpoole tub as in helped move it in place, into the house, and with the frame up.....
redid the stucco out back redid the walls and floors in both bathrooms,

so got news man, there ARE chicks out there that know/do/enjoy helping and learning.....

to boot she has her own book keeping business....FAR smarter than the average bear.....by a country MILE....

course maybe she get smart enough to divorce MY dumb ass too.....:rofl::rofl::smash::loveletter:

 

[AJ77]

As far as women knowing how and being willing to work, she helped me build my workshop (1000sq. ft.) steel building before we were even married. Starting in 2002 she physically helped me build a 27' x 43' two story addition on the house. I mean everything too. Framing, windows and doors, insulation, wiring, plumbing, even helped put the vinyl siding on the second story, and she's afraid of heights. She even helped me do the tile on the floors and all the sheetrock, tape-bed-and texture. We then remodled the existing part. Took us 4 1/2 years to complete. I have the utmost respect for her, she just felt like she needed out of our marraige for some reason known only to her. I'll probably never know for sure.

 

[mrvette]

When it comes to chicks, guys never know shit until it's TDL....

the way it is man....:ill::gurney:

 

[AJ77]

Well, I just got off the phone with her and now she is giving me back the 08 Infiniti EX35 Journey that we still owe $20,000.00 on and wants $80,000.00 cash on top of that. I've never heard a woman talk so cold and emotionless before in my life. That will wipe out my retirement but what else can I do? At least she said she will still sign of on the house and vette. I just want to sit and cry. I've never loved anyone so much in my life, and to throw away 13 years is just incomprihensible to me. I'm medicating myself now and going to bed. Thanks for tolerating my lovesick rantings. If I didn't have this group of caring people to rant to, I don't know what I might have done by now. I've never hurt this bad in my 57 year old life.

 

[010752]

Sounds like you're getting past the consoling aspect and are almost ready for the grim truth about women and divorces.
Go back and read postss 54,55. and 56.
Get a consult with a divorce lawyer, they have lots of experience and can realistically predict your immediate future.
And the last 13 years, forget about it and consider it a good education, it's not thrown away, just costly tuition.:yahoo:
Believe me, somewhere down the road and hopefully sooner than later, you'll slap yourself and wonder why you were so enthraulled with this woman.:smash:

I could tell you stories that would probably make your situation seem like a walk in the park, but you wouldn't be able to comprehend any of that for quite a while yet.

Do what you gotta do, see a lawyer, instant new perspective on life.:thumbs:

 

[clutchdust]

Art, sounds to me like the cold shoulder is something she's trying to do to protect herself emotionally. I bet she knows she's in the wrong. I'm in no position to give you any advice other than to stay strong. We're hear to listen to whatever you want/need to say.

 

[clutchdust]

Actually Art, I'm a little worried. You're saying 80k will wipe out your retirement. So what I gather from what you've posted so far is she wants none of your shared debt and all cash. And in return you get a house (I assume you owe money on) and a car you owe money on. And she's using your Vette as leverage. You do what's right by you, but I think you need to put up at least a little resistance to that deal.

 

[C6Z51]

Sounds like you're getting past the consoling aspect and are almost ready for the grim truth about women and divorces.
Go back and read postss 54,55. and 56.
Get a consult with a divorce lawyer, they have lots of experience and can realistically predict your immediate future.
And the last 13 years, forget about it and consider it a good education, it's not thrown away, just costly tuition.:yahoo:
Believe me, somewhere down the road and hopefully sooner than later, you'll slap yourself and wonder why you were so enthraulled with this woman.:smash:

I could tell you stories that would probably make your situation seem like a walk in the park, but you wouldn't be able to comprehend any of that for quite a while yet.

Do what you gotta do, see a lawyer, instant new perspective on life.:thumbs:

I agree 100%:thumbs::thumbs::thumbs:

 

[AJ77]

Actually Art, I'm a little worried. You're saying 80k will wipe out your retirement. So what I gather from what you've posted so far is she wants none of your shared debt and all cash. And in return you get a house (I assume you owe money on) and a car you owe money on. And she's using your Vette as leverage. You do what's right by you, but I think you need to put up at least a little resistance to that deal.

The house and property (3200 sq. ft. stone house on 7 5/8 acres) and the vett are paid for. She never felt anything for the Vett anyway. She would go with me for rides just to have somewhere to go I think. She has no use for it and knows it would sell for a fraction of what I have in it. The only thing we owe money on is her new Infiniti. I've been making triple payments on it since purchased, so I'm in pretty good shape as far as the debt on that. ( The avarage retail on the car as of now is $35000.00) It only has 17000 miles on it. I still have an annuity in my name that she can't touch so I'm not destitute by any means. I still have my 401K at work also.

 

[JeffP1167]

Women want 1/2 of everything! If they could get 100% and leave a man on the street they would, it is in their nature to screw men. Just cause she walked away with a kitchen table last time doesn't mean a thing now. By giving back the car with a huge debt on it and then asking for 80k tells you one thing. She is after money and no debts!

Get a lawyer your going to need it! They know better then you what your soon to be ex is entitled to. Let the lawyer play hardball with her.

Plain and simple they are going to add up all your equity then any debts are paid and what is left is split. She will probably go after alimony.

This is just the calm before the storm, sorry you have to go through it but at least be thankful of one thing and that is you don't have young'uns to make things harder then they already are.

 

[AJ77]

Tx. doesn't have alimony and besides, she makes the same money I do. She has been working in radiology at the same hospital for going on 28 years. If I get a lawyer and they talley up the value of my house, car and all else I will owe her over $250,000.00. Houses are not selling here and even if they were I would only get a fraction of what is worth. Not all women are bitches. I'm sorry you feel that they are. I still respect her even after all this hurt. I just don't understand, that's all. She's not doing this to be vindictive, I do know her that well.

 

[Twin_Turbo]

Here in FL it's called "simplified divorce" for couples without kids. If you both agree on who gets what you can be divorced within 6 weeks - don't even need a lawyer... maybe TX offers the same deal ??

Buddy of mine got taken to the cleaners. Ex wife claimed she helped him build his business...yeah right, all she did was use his credit card

 

[JPhil]

She's got her 'friends' telling her what she can do & 'deserves'....Her head is getting full of ideas, no matter what you may think she was before. Get your ass to a lawyer ASAP.

"plan for the best, prepare for the worst"

 

[big2bird]

She's got her 'friends' telling her what she can do & 'deserves'....Her head is getting full of ideas, no matter what you may think she was before. Get your ass to a lawyer ASAP.

"plan for the best, prepare for the worst"

Yep. As soon as your brain gets your heart back under control, your gonna think differently.

Get the lawyer. We cannot all be wrong.

 

[kwplot34]

She's got her 'friends' telling her what she can do & 'deserves'....Her head is getting full of ideas, no matter what you may think she was before. Get your ass to a lawyer ASAP.

"plan for the best, prepare for the worst"

Yep. As soon as your brain gets your heart back under control, your gonna think differently.

Get the lawyer. We cannot all be wrong.

Get the Lawyer. and do it now,NO last week.

 

[MYBAD79]

I don't really get why she's giving you the car back, that's peanuts compared to what's at stake for both of you. Maybe she doesn't like it.... Wasting money on lawyers (you both would need one) would be the last thing I'd want to do in this situation. From what I read it's her 401 K that you say is 4 times what you have (80K times 4 = $360K) vs. a house with 7 acres and a Vette.... probably more like 400K in TX ??? Here in FL it would probably be more .... you are entitle to half of her 401K and she's entitled to half of the house.... now split all the rest you both own 50:50 plus $15000 each for a lawyer.... not knowing what else you own it sounds to me like she's reasonable, I would not want to piss her off by involving a vulture (lawyer) unless she does it first... 15K each is about what it is .. not ?? Don't they want a percentage of what they "win" for their client ??

 

[010752]

Tx. doesn't have alimony and besides, she makes the same money I do. She has been working in radiology at the same hospital for going on 28 years. If I get a lawyer and they talley up the value of my house, car and all else I will owe her over $250,000.00. Houses are not selling here and even if they were I would only get a fraction of what is worth. Not all women are bitches. I'm sorry you feel that they are. I still respect her even after all this hurt. I just don't understand, that's all. She's not doing this to be vindictive, I do know her that well.

That doesn't make sense.
You need a lawyer to explain the real deal to you, what is eligable and how it is tallied in your county.

Because of this economy and the fact houses are not selling, 3 appraisals of comparable solds will value your house at a lot less than the price you are allowing for it. Sad, but realistic. In other words, she will owe you more money in a 50/50 split. In a worst case divorce fued, a judge can order it sold, even at auction. Those are the real values, not what it once was, what it might be worth in future or what both of you think it's worth.
You're not marrying a lawyer, pay a couple hundred bucks for a consultation and learn what you must. You don't have to use him for any more than that. Small price to pay.

BTW, I know a guy here that recently bought a place that sounds similar to yours in size and build, that had a $800,000 mortgage on it, for $178,000. Around here, houses were worth almost double their counterparts in most of Texas before the bubble. Ya it was a short sale or foreclosure, but guess what, in Obamaland, those are the new values like it or not.

This process should be fair to both parties.

 

[AJ77]

I don't really get why she's giving you the car back, that's peanuts compared to what's at stake for both of you. Maybe she doesn't like it.... Wasting money on lawyers (you both would need one) would be the last thing I'd want to do in this situation. From what I read it's her 401 K that you say is 4 times what you have (80K times 4 = $360K) vs. a house with 7 acres and a Vette.... probably more like 400K in TX ??? Here in FL it would probably be more .... you are entitle to half of her 401K and she's entitled to half of the house.... now split all the rest you both own 50:50 plus $15000 each for a lawyer.... not knowing what else you own it sounds to me like she's reasonable, I would not want to piss her off by involving a vulture (lawyer) unless she does it first... 15K each is about what it is .. not ?? Don't they want a percentage of what they "win" for their client ??

So far, you're the only person here that is loking at it similar to me. She is not a hateful person, but she is very smart. She knows how it would come out if it got ugly. We'ed both lose. She's giving the car back simply cause she doesn't want to make the payments on it. She wanted a Toyota and I talked her into the Infiniti.

 

[JPhil]

I'm not saying she's evil, either. But you are dealing with dividing real estate, property, investments, finances, money, tangibles & intangibles, legal issues. A 'gentlemen's agreement' between the two of you could very easily go wrong on either one of your parts, and very likely with no instigation from either of you.
As stated above, you may not need to hire a lawyer but you should consult with one, and then probably both of you together consult with one.

No matter how much you believe in her, at this point you have to look out for number one first.
And get it in notorized writing.

Just sayin'......

 

[AJ77]

Well, I spoke with her last night and she's not going to a lawyer after all. as long as we both agree on what we have already agreed on, she's, going to just get a divorce drawn up on Legal Zoom or something like that and we'll go to a lawyer only to sign the papers and say goodbye. She is even keeping my name, cause she likes it. As it ends up, she is only asking for 1/4 the value of the addition we built on my existing house and half of an annuity we had.