Official joke of the day thread
- Thread starter big2bird
- Start date
mrvette
Phantom of the Opera
BangkokDean
Well-known member
Ammunition Scarce.
This morning I lucked out and was able to buy several cases of ammo.
On the way home I stopped at the gas station where a.
Drop-Dead Blonde gorgeous was the next filling up her Car at Pump. She looked at the Ammo in the back of my PICKUP and.
said in a very sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, big boy.
Would You be interested in Trading sex for Ammo? ". I thought a few seconds and Asked, "What kinda Ammo Ya got?".:friends:
This morning I lucked out and was able to buy several cases of ammo.
On the way home I stopped at the gas station where a.
Drop-Dead Blonde gorgeous was the next filling up her Car at Pump. She looked at the Ammo in the back of my PICKUP and.
said in a very sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, big boy.
Would You be interested in Trading sex for Ammo? ". I thought a few seconds and Asked, "What kinda Ammo Ya got?".:friends:
BangkokDean
Well-known member
When you're from the country ~ your perception is a little different...
An Iowa farmer in his pickup drove to a neighbor's, and knocked at the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your Dad home?"
"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."
"Well, is your Mother here?"
"No sir, she went to town with Dad."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No sir, he went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."
The boy thought for a moment...
"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."
An Iowa farmer in his pickup drove to a neighbor's, and knocked at the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your Dad home?"
"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."
"Well, is your Mother here?"
"No sir, she went to town with Dad."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No sir, he went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."
The boy thought for a moment...
"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."
BangkokDean
Well-known member
Women
A plane passed through a severe storm. The turbulence was awful, and things went from bad to worse when one wing was struck by lightning.
One woman lost it completely, she was going berserk!!!
She stood up in the front of the plane and screamed, 'I'm too young to die,' she cried. Then she yelled, 'If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?'
For a moment, there was silence. Everyone stared at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then the man from Australia stood up in the rear of the plane. He was handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes.
Slowly, he started to walk up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt as he went, one button at a time. No one moved. He removed his shirt. Muscles rippled across his chest.
She gasped.
Then, he spoke...
"Iron this -- and then get me a beer!"'
A plane passed through a severe storm. The turbulence was awful, and things went from bad to worse when one wing was struck by lightning.
One woman lost it completely, she was going berserk!!!
She stood up in the front of the plane and screamed, 'I'm too young to die,' she cried. Then she yelled, 'If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?'
For a moment, there was silence. Everyone stared at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then the man from Australia stood up in the rear of the plane. He was handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes.
Slowly, he started to walk up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt as he went, one button at a time. No one moved. He removed his shirt. Muscles rippled across his chest.
She gasped.
Then, he spoke...
"Iron this -- and then get me a beer!"'
mrvette
Phantom of the Opera
Sara Pipalini
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter . He says,
"Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren ;"
And *poof* she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini .."
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asks
"Sara Pipalini ," replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name
just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter .
St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says.
"No sister, the paper says that the ' Sahara Pipeline' was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."
If you laugh, you're going straight to hell!
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter . He says,
"Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren ;"
And *poof* she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini .."
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asks
"Sara Pipalini ," replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name
just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter .
St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says.
"No sister, the paper says that the ' Sahara Pipeline' was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."
If you laugh, you're going straight to hell!
mrvette
Phantom of the Opera
Sons grow up so soon......
A young teenage boy comes home at 7pm, His dad says
"Where were you ?"
"I was with Sarah." He replied.
"What were you doing ?"
"We were studying."
After picking a snack off the table the son says "These fishcakes are great."
Dad replies, "Wash your hands son; they're donuts."
:devil:
A young teenage boy comes home at 7pm, His dad says
"Where were you ?"
"I was with Sarah." He replied.
"What were you doing ?"
"We were studying."
After picking a snack off the table the son says "These fishcakes are great."
Dad replies, "Wash your hands son; they're donuts."
:devil:
mrvette
Phantom of the Opera
George W Bush and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave.
Obama was quick to stop him saying, “No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I’ve been in a whorehouse.”
The second barber turned to Bush and said, “How about you sir?”
Bush replied, “Go ahead; my wife doesn’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.”
Obama was quick to stop him saying, “No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I’ve been in a whorehouse.”
The second barber turned to Bush and said, “How about you sir?”
Bush replied, “Go ahead; my wife doesn’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.”
mrvette
Phantom of the Opera
A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.
They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?"
The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.
The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.
As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00.
He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.
The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.
The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money. The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."
The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation......And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them.
They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?"
The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.
The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.
As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00.
He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.
The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.
The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money. The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."
The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation......And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them.
BangkokDean
Well-known member
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
(written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is ...
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10
(written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is ...
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10
BangkokDean
Well-known member
The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, ''You had a good idea to replace the first
four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always
fills first now.''
The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, ''And, you told me adding a little more beat
to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that
rock 'n roll gospel choir. Now our services are consistently packed to the balcony.''
''Thank you, Father,'' answered the young priest. ''I am pleased that you are open to the new
ideas of youth.
''All of these ideas have been well and good,'' said the elderly priest, ''but I'm afraid you've gone
too far with the drive-thru confessional.''
''But Father,'' protested the young priest, ''confessions and donations have nearly doubled since
I began that!''
''Yes,'' replied the elderly priest, ''and I appreciate that"." But the flashing neon sign,
'Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell' cannot stay on the church roof!"
four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always
fills first now.''
The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, ''And, you told me adding a little more beat
to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that
rock 'n roll gospel choir. Now our services are consistently packed to the balcony.''
''Thank you, Father,'' answered the young priest. ''I am pleased that you are open to the new
ideas of youth.
''All of these ideas have been well and good,'' said the elderly priest, ''but I'm afraid you've gone
too far with the drive-thru confessional.''
''But Father,'' protested the young priest, ''confessions and donations have nearly doubled since
I began that!''
''Yes,'' replied the elderly priest, ''and I appreciate that"." But the flashing neon sign,
'Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell' cannot stay on the church roof!"
mrvette
Phantom of the Opera
A Woman was out golfing one day...
...when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and
found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, 'If you release me
from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes.'
The woman freed the frog, and the frog
said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention
that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband
will get times ten!'
The woman said, 'That's okay.'
For her first wish, she wanted to be
the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, 'You do realize that
this wish will also make your husband
the most handsome man in the world,
an Adonis whom women will flock to'.
The woman replied, 'That's okay, because
I will be the most beautiful Woman and
he will have eyes only for me.'
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful
Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be
the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, 'That will make your
husband the richest man in the world.
And he will be ten times richer than you.'
The woman said, 'That's okay, because
what's mine is his and what's his is
mine.'
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in
the world!
The frog then inquired about her third
wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild
heart attack.'
Moral of the story: Women are clever.
Don't mess with them.
...when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and
found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, 'If you release me
from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes.'
The woman freed the frog, and the frog
said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention
that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband
will get times ten!'
The woman said, 'That's okay.'
For her first wish, she wanted to be
the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, 'You do realize that
this wish will also make your husband
the most handsome man in the world,
an Adonis whom women will flock to'.
The woman replied, 'That's okay, because
I will be the most beautiful Woman and
he will have eyes only for me.'
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful
Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be
the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, 'That will make your
husband the richest man in the world.
And he will be ten times richer than you.'
The woman said, 'That's okay, because
what's mine is his and what's his is
mine.'
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in
the world!
The frog then inquired about her third
wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild
heart attack.'
Moral of the story: Women are clever.
Don't mess with them.
mrvette
Phantom of the Opera
Gay Joke Thread !!!
Q: How do 5 gay men walk?
A: One Direction!
Q: What do you call a gay drive by?
A: "a fruit roll up."
Q. What does a homo say to another gay going on vacation?
A: Can I help you pack your shit?
Q: What do gay kids get for Christmas?
A: Erection Sets.
Q: What do you call a homosexual dentist?
A: Tooth fairy
Q: What's the difference between a refridgerator and a homo?
A: The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!
Q: What did one gay sperm say to another?
A: "How do we find an egg in all of this shit?"
Q. Hear about the new gay sitcom?
A. "Leave it, it's Beaver."
Q: What do you get when you cross an eskimo and a gay guy?
A: A snowblower.
Q: What is the first symptom of AIDS? A: A pounding sensation in the ass.
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
Q: What does one gay say to another homo sitting at the bar?
A: "Do you mind if I push in your stool?"
Q: What do gay men call hemorrhoids?
A: Speed bumps.
Q: Did you hear about the two gay guys that had an argument in the bar?
A: They went outside to exchange blows.
Q: What do you call a gay midget?
A: A lowblow
Q: How do 5 gay men walk?
A: One Direction!
Q: What do you call a gay drive by?
A: "a fruit roll up."
Q. What does a homo say to another gay going on vacation?
A: Can I help you pack your shit?
Q: What do gay kids get for Christmas?
A: Erection Sets.
Q: What do you call a homosexual dentist?
A: Tooth fairy
Q: What's the difference between a refridgerator and a homo?
A: The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!
Q: What did one gay sperm say to another?
A: "How do we find an egg in all of this shit?"
Q. Hear about the new gay sitcom?
A. "Leave it, it's Beaver."
Q: What do you get when you cross an eskimo and a gay guy?
A: A snowblower.
Q: What is the first symptom of AIDS? A: A pounding sensation in the ass.
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
Q: What does one gay say to another homo sitting at the bar?
A: "Do you mind if I push in your stool?"
Q: What do gay men call hemorrhoids?
A: Speed bumps.
Q: Did you hear about the two gay guys that had an argument in the bar?
A: They went outside to exchange blows.
Q: What do you call a gay midget?
A: A lowblow
mrvette
Phantom of the Opera
Life is like a penis...
...simple, soft, straight, relaxed, hanging freely.
Then women make it hard.... :crap:
...simple, soft, straight, relaxed, hanging freely.
Then women make it hard.... :crap:
Baseball seasons almost here, this one's for those who could give a crap.
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCNmJnmlfQ4[/ame]
Short Attention Span
http://www.keepbusy.net/play.php?id=kid-has-short-attention-span
Corn Hole?
http://www.keepbusy.net/play.php?id=kid-plays-cornhole-like-a-boss
Ralphy
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCNmJnmlfQ4[/ame]
Short Attention Span
http://www.keepbusy.net/play.php?id=kid-has-short-attention-span
Corn Hole?
http://www.keepbusy.net/play.php?id=kid-plays-cornhole-like-a-boss
Ralphy
Last edited:
mrvette
Phantom of the Opera
The Last Nickel
A father
walks into a restaurant with his young son.
He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep
him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy starts
choking, going blue in the face.
The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels
and starts slapping
him on the back.
The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps
choking.
Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting
for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in
a blue business
suit is sitting at the coffee bar reading a newspaper
and sipping a cup of
coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks
up, puts her coffee cup
down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the
counter, gets up
from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the
restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants;
takes hold of the
boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently
at first and then ever
so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and
coughs up the last nickel,
which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the
nickel to the father and
walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying
a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill
effects, the father rushes
over to the woman and starts thanking her saying,
"I've never seen anybody do
anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are
you a doctor? "
"No," the woman replied, "I'm with the
Internal Revenue Service."
A father
walks into a restaurant with his young son.
He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep
him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy starts
choking, going blue in the face.
The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels
and starts slapping
him on the back.
The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps
choking.
Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting
for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in
a blue business
suit is sitting at the coffee bar reading a newspaper
and sipping a cup of
coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks
up, puts her coffee cup
down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the
counter, gets up
from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the
restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants;
takes hold of the
boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently
at first and then ever
so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and
coughs up the last nickel,
which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the
nickel to the father and
walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying
a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill
effects, the father rushes
over to the woman and starts thanking her saying,
"I've never seen anybody do
anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are
you a doctor? "
"No," the woman replied, "I'm with the
Internal Revenue Service."
BangkokDean
Well-known member
The Love Dress
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house.
She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained." It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me"
The mother-in-law left.
When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?
He never heard the gunshot.
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house.
She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained." It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me"
The mother-in-law left.
When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?
He never heard the gunshot.
Same (but different) jpke:
A single woman, an engaged woman, and a long time wife met for drinks after work. The conversation drifts towards their sex lives.
Eventually, they decided to surprise their men by dressing up for some S&M role playing.
The following week they met up again.
The single girl said; I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a long coat. I locked his door, slipped out of the coat and all I had on was black garters and stiletto heels. We had mad sex on his desk right then and there!
Laughing, the engaged woman said, My Fiance came home and found me waiting for him with a whip, black fishnet hose and stiletto pumps. We had sex all night, and he wants to move up our wedding date!
The married woman put her glass down and said, I put on my best perfume, slipped into a tight leather bodice, stockings and heels. I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled,
'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?'
A single woman, an engaged woman, and a long time wife met for drinks after work. The conversation drifts towards their sex lives.
Eventually, they decided to surprise their men by dressing up for some S&M role playing.
The following week they met up again.
The single girl said; I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a long coat. I locked his door, slipped out of the coat and all I had on was black garters and stiletto heels. We had mad sex on his desk right then and there!
Laughing, the engaged woman said, My Fiance came home and found me waiting for him with a whip, black fishnet hose and stiletto pumps. We had sex all night, and he wants to move up our wedding date!
The married woman put her glass down and said, I put on my best perfume, slipped into a tight leather bodice, stockings and heels. I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled,
'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?'
mrvette
Phantom of the Opera
Well, my post #13000, goes on the joke thread, 100 pages long....
:bounce::rofl::surrender::tomato:
:bounce::rofl::surrender::tomato:
mrvette
Phantom of the Opera
Plus one more.....
Bruce Willis found dead.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Lying beside a container of Viagra.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Yep.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Died Hard.
Bruce Willis found dead.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Lying beside a container of Viagra.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Yep.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Died Hard.
